PHOBIA
Ikechukwu had a PHOBIA for results. The repercussions were unexplainable.
He had always been viewed and referred to as a nerd, mostly because of his love for books especially since he was drawn to the strangest genres of books (the academic and mystic ones that basically no one wanted to read). Ironically though, was this feeling that he would never achieve academic greatness maybe because of his upbringing and the environment he was raised. The other day he was in church and the Pastor proclaimed, ‘everyone should pray for upliftment in every area of life, be it academic and future greatness, decree success on every side. While the rest of the congregation was absorbed in a spiritual frenzy of prayer, Ikechukwu could barely utter a word. Some were almost stomping their heads on pillars while others were violently swerving their heads left and right but Ikechukwu was silent and defeated perhaps because of the thought that he was about to check his second semester results .
The anxiety he felt was worse than the feeling of shitting in his pants. He looked at the time, it read 10am, he imagined that by now the result board would have attracted a crowd of curious students, he knew just as always that some would be filled with joy, some with sadness and others with indifference.
After staying indoors for two straight days with fear in his mind, he decided to take the bold step. He sluggishly walked to the board when he finally got to campus. He wondered why fear gripped him deeply because he had actually had commendable 100 level results. He wiped a strain of sweat from his face when he came to the results board, so many matriculation numbers stared at him with different grades naturally, horizontally following. He traced his matriculation number but unfortunately at the front, it read "NO RESULT". His heart was filled with aches that may never leave. As he walked to the administrative office, a day that was naturally nice and breezy felt very hot and uncomfortable for him. There were some women chattering in an unknown language, it was noise to his ears.
‘Good afternoon ma’, he greeted, to no response asides a very reluctant nod. Please I did not see my result on the board outside. The response was bereft of human interest, name’... Ikechukwu Igwe, he responded fearfully.
‘You have to check in some days later to see if it’s an error or maybe you did not sit or something else’. Exactly two days later that felt more like two centuries later to him, Ikechukwu headed back to his department to know his fate. Thoughts ran through his already strained mind, could it be his credentials on the school portal had somehow been erased. How could he go sort this out? He was not in hundred level for crying out loud!
The worst part was that these administrative staff always behaved like demigods whenever a student approached them for help, others even demanded gratification. He felt like dirt. Depression was already enveloping him. He sluggishly went back to his room after leaving the office, now his pessimism had been justified. He cries not like a man, not like a teen, not even like a baby, he cries a river of very painful tears.
Maybe nature was telling him something through this incident. His thoughts were no longer thoughts, they had been confirmed. He was a colossal failure. As he sat down bitterly contemplating everything, a thought that wasnt his came to his mind. It was like a bulb producing bright light, a voice spoke to him almost out of his subconscious, What you fear always comes to you. Fear not, do not compete with anyone and be yourself, maybe thinking the right way and believing in myself would result to success.
He laid back, closed his eyes and decided that when he rose, he would be a new being. For the first time in many days, Ikechukwu slept.