By Busuyi Ojo-Jobus
Every lady's dream is to meet a special someone to live a fairy tale marriage. No woman wants a saggy and unrealistic man as her partner. Just as ladies prepare themselves to be suitable wives to their husbands, men must also take the responsibility to prepare themselves to be not just husbands but good fathers.
I have seen many shaky marriages that couldn't work, not because of a nagging wife but by virtue of ungroomed men. These men were partially prepared to be boyfriends in their previous relationship, so the marriage union failed miserably.
Many genuine men desire to love their spouse and give their best without restraint. If you desire to embark on the journey, here are my few tips for becoming a suitable spouse and husband.
1. Be Clean.
Many times, we have heard that appearance matters a lot. A woman is attracted to appearances like many men. This appearance often precedes the physical; some women will go as far as to spy on what your apartment looks like. I did a mini-survey, and when I asked what the key things are that attract a lady to the opposite sex, many said appearance and a spotless (clean) apartment. You can't leave dirty boxers hanging at one end and smelly shoes at another, with a messed up kitchen, and expect to be husband material. Be as polished as possible; learn to take out the trash, clean dishes, and tidy your apartment.
2: Be Skilful and Confident
I have often heard; I love you no be for mouth. Please acquire a good skill(handwork) and be diligent while at it. It will require more than expertise to supply any skill; you need to speak confidently. Men who are mentally capable and confident are attractive to modern women. Confidence and a spiced (exciting and entertaining) guy are two things that readily draw a woman to a guy. Every woman wants to feel comfortable and secure in the presence of her husband. Being acquiescent is sometimes necessary, but I, for one, will not like a man who accepts whatever I say. Of course, I don't know everything; yeah, I won't always get it right; don't always comply; you will have to be a man sometimes.
3 Be Receptive to Reading Books
Words capitalized in some books are the keys to many quivering homes. Many men couldn't control their tempers when arguing; others argued until they forgot their hands on their better half, not because they didn't love them but primarily because of a lack of knowledge. In books is the hidden wisdom of others who had successful marriages and good men for their wives.
I quote Isaac Newton, "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." If you intend to excel as a husband, read books and attend singles' conferences on marriages to practice what you have learned. It would help if you didn't wait to experience everything in marriage. Understanding the opposite sex is essential so read as many books as you can get on executing your role as a responsive husband. Ultimately, aim to be the kind of husband your little kids will pray to have as spouses.
4 Be Attentive and Loving
This is another expression of love for your spouse. Be the kind of husband who intends to spend as much quality time as possible with your wife. Be as tender as possible with your comments; they speak a lot about you. Build more in verbalizing your words. Women are often moved by what they hear and the touch of love in your words.
5 Be a Glee Listener
Assume a state of euphoria when you see her about to speak. Please don't go overboard. Be calm, but let it register that you are interested in her words. Avoid the red spots of absent-mindedness and passive listening.
6 Mark Important Dates
Always make plans to mark birthdays and anniversaries. There are notable and important dates on the calendar you shouldn't be careless about. Also, draft date nights, family vacations, and nights. Be spontaneous and try to spice things up.
7 Be Caring
Be willing to pay attention to your wife’s needs if you intend to be a good husband. Her needs could be emotional, monthly upkeep, or physical touch. When necessary use words like, I love you, I need you, do you need help? please, help me, I am sorry, and thank you. As much as possible don’t be harsh when showing affection. Naturally, the African culture might want to make you act all manly and all, without emotions but, please be affectionate.
8. Must be good in bed: Most females have high libido that if care is not taken, one man will not be enough to satisfy them. In this lesson session, you are advised to know how to satisfy your babe or wife, find out to know what turns on and off, her sexual strength and how you can fill up the urge. If there is any difficulty in this, try to see your doctor.
Although the men need to work to become good husbands, the women should also prepare themselves to be good wives. Subsequently, tips on becoming a prospective wife will be posted.
N.B: Share with friends, family and love ones