Any relationship that doesn't build you will wreck you.
I get enthusiastic when speaking about relationships, especially purpose-driven and healthy relationships. Because we are interactive beings, and no one can strive in isolation. Any relationship we identify with must contribute to our growth. A famous adage says that abuse is inevitable if a thing's basis is not identified. When you notice you don't share a common and mutual goal with someone, draw boundaries from those sponges because they can wreck you.
Some weeks back, All Campus Show post "How to Become Husband and Wife Material" got good feedback; if you haven't read it kindly do. Today I thought to share healthier tips to build lifelong relationships and friendships to pull out of.
Here are some toppings for a healthy relationship.
Commitment and Love
The foundation for any solid friendship is commitment and love. Commitment here means selflessness and contribution without restraint to the growth and well-being of others. When both
parties are committed, it will stir creativity and artistry without stress. Taking steps to show love will build a meaningful relationship that lasts for a lifetime.
Communicate your feelings.
Both parties should be comfortable sharing their success, expectations, doubts, opinion, feelings, fear, and insecurities. Any relationship that doesn't allow you to communicate your feelings is a death trap. The inability to communicate well with the opposite or same sex is a significant driver for an unsuccessful relationship. Some ladies/men are caught up in coercive relationships. Many are terrorized in the guise of romance and are afraid to redraw because of fear of heartbreak. However, we must know that a relationship is not by force but a choice.
Be Valuable
In any organization or relationship, people of value easily attracts people. Being a person of value propels people towards you. You won't be quickly taken for granted. Take it or leave it,
If you are not valuable, don't expect people to take you seriously. Ask yourself, what do I bring to the table? What problem can I solve? Every single personality has a purpose and passion for something. Identify that, embrace it, set personal development goals, and build systems and structures to achieve them. The more you do little things exceptionally, the more coveted and beneficial you become. The more you dedicate yourself to becoming more valuable, the greater the extent you will be sought after. This will help contribute to the growth of your relationship.
Be Authentic
Originality is a core value for any good relationship. Don't pretend to be someone you are not and have a qualification you are not skilled at. Identify that you are personally unique. Your relationship with friends and special people in your life should be natural as possible without any disguise. Unfortunately, many people have lost their sense of identity mimicking another figure.
Friendship to Pull out from
Abusers
Any relationship that emotionally, financially, and verbally abuses you is not an advantage; it is manipulative. Some ladies have seen this abuse in their relationship, but they convince themselves that things will be better with time. Please wake up!
Looking at the psychology of abuse, many are abused because of the emotional advantage they have over you. That is why I advise youth people to be valuable. Don't be a dependent variable.
The controversial case between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard reveals that even men can be abused; if and when you notice such, don't manage such an abusive and obsessive relationship, disengage yourself from them.
Run away from Gas Lighters
You may have a gas lighter in your family, friend group, workplace, or as a partner. These are manipulative people that will trick you into doubting your sense of reasoning. They control your mind by using nasty words to make you second guess your decisions. They take credit for your accomplishments. These irresponsible fellows passionately terrorize you with phrases like, "I made you who you are." The day you leave me, no one will love you as much as I do. I am the best thing that ever happened to you. They subscribe themselves to be the Alpha and Omega of your existence. They are control freaks who humiliate you with their utterances. Refuse to accept it; ignore them and out rightly detach yourself from such negative influence.
Kindly leave a comment about any abusive or healthy relationship you have had or currently experiencing.