On a non-disclosed agreement, a student schooling at Unilag has revealed her struggles with exposure to sex at a tender age and the untold burden she has had to bear for a long time. In this exclusive interview with All Campus Show, she was able to share what she had to grapple with while in school.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
I am 24 years old.
WHICH SCHOOL DO YOU ATTEND?
I am a student at UNILAG.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR CHILDHOOD?
I grew up in a good Christian home, but my parents were too harsh on us and very religious. I became timid in school and intimidated while growing up, so I became more reclined and isolated most of the time. I didn't know how to relate to people because I didn't want to offend anyone. This made it difficult to be friendly, so I hardly had any friends. When my mum sees me with the opposite sex, she will harass me. This made her intentionally enrol me in an all-girls secondary school because she was afraid that I might get corrupted in a mixed secondary school. Although I wouldn't say I liked the idea, I had to obey them.
WHAT INFLUENCED YOUR SEXUAL ACTIVIY WHILE GROWING UP?
I became sexually active in boarding school. My parents thought the same boarding school would shield me from interacting with boys. Some of my friends told me how they would visit boys secretly outside the school without the school authorities' knowledge. My roommate in secondary school introduced me to sex during this period. She was a lesbian, so she would touch me in sensitive areas; although I was not comfortable, I became vulnerable and needed that void to be filled. But when I attended church and listened carefully to sermons, I learned that it displeased God and that he wasn't happy with me, so I stopped.
Unfortunately, as I said, I became vulnerable and needed someone to fill that void. I got into a relationship at the time with a boy, and we engaged in sex. Again, another sermon in the church said that fornication outside marriage was a sin. I became afraid and stopped because I was convicted of my sins. I was perplexed and afraid. I couldn’t share this with my parents, siblings, or pastor. So I had to find my way through the internet.
HOW DID YOU BECOME AWARE OF SEX DOLLS AND WHAT LEAD YOU TO THEM?
When you become sexually active outside of marriage, it takes the grace of God to abstain from it. I had hormones I couldn't control and I felt I couldn’t control my thoughts and feelings. One day, I came across sex dolls online, so I started using them to satisfy myself. Again, I learnt it was a sin.
HAVE YOU OVERCOME IT AND HOW DID YOU DO IT?
I came across an All Campus Show News report about "Vagina: the disease, prevention, and care." I traced it because I believe before someone could write about that, they must have had knowledge about it, and also, it is a campus writer, covering all campuses in Nigeria, I believed they could help me, so I called to book an appointment and the first word the person said calmed me down. I believed they could help me, so I called to book an appointment, and the first word the person said calmed me down. The person I spoke with told me it was an addiction and highlighted some things I could do to cure the addiction. I thought he would take advantage of me. I was expecting it. However, he didn't, and he kept distance from the beginning to the end of the interview. I was happy, and my heavy heart became light after the interview. The reason I was open to him was that he would have seen and heard a lot and my case would be nothing to him. Throughout our conversation, he didn't condemn me, he even said I had done nothing wrong, I knew he wanted to make me happy, and I became happy and calm after the interview.
WHAT IS YOUR ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVEN’T ENGAGED IN SEX BEFORE?
I advise young people to abstain from early sex in all its forms. Please, it is evil and not right, but wait and be patient for the right time.
WOULD YOU CHANGE ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE NOW IF YOU HAD THE POWER TO?
I am grateful for the help I have received thus far. I wouldn't change anything because sometimes we fall so that we can lift other people up. If I hadn't received counsel from someone who had gone through the same, I would have felt condemned and continued thinking I was the only person battling with such.
I hope my story helps someone to know that they can come out of every mess and start afresh by seeking help and counsel from the right people.
*Fiction